i have a headache on fifth avenue

In the midst of my excitement for receiving my purple swingline stapler in the mail, my hair got into my thai noodle dish. Gross.

"And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... " - Office Space, which gladly isn't my life.

But my purple stapler does rock right next to the latest issue of Rolling Stone and the advance copy of Ryan Adams's "Cold Roses" CD (which I have spun no less than seven times since it found my hands at 11 AM).