"I'm spinning round the room in awe" ryan adams

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

the wonderfulness of candy land

Let's go back in time...years...

The girls of STN (the Student Television Network of UD, now affectionately known as Sigma Tau Nu in all of our buddy lists) were hanging out in the studio talking about our personal lives. This happened all day everyday pretty much.

I think it was after the news show and we were sitting on the risers chatting about Brittany's latest endeavor with the object of her affection. As she is getting to the good stuff, she dodges the scandal and moves on. Whitney wouldn't let her and said something to the effect of, "yeah, because we all know you were up in your room playing Candy Land". And thus the greatest thing ever was born. Candy Land now means hooking up and the girls of STN - Brittany, Jen, Whitney, Aurora, Karen, Anne, and me, were forever changed (we have brought in some second string to th joke along the way, but we still remain the legend).

So yeah we are, four years later and the joke still goes on strong way past college. Candy Land also has many facets and many different names for activities and status. All of us have had guys who have thought his pieces were still on the board. And well, there is just too much to be said of gumdrop mountains and magical forests. I also had a scared keychain to hold all of the studio keys that I passed along to Jen when she became program director (the ceremony was held at an IKE concert :-) ).

While at work, I was thumbing through a magazine and my heart skipped a beat when I saw that Candy Land was coming to a screen near me on DVD! As Jen would say, "OH SNAP!" I ripped out the ad and proudly showed the girls my discovery when they visited last weekend. We noticed there was a website and it had to be one of the greatest things ever to compliment our lives.

The three of us hovered around my laptop on the floor as we went to www.candyland.com. The first thing we noticed was the phallic "arrow" inviting us to a sweet adventure. Thus the soft core porn begins...We explore the characters of Candy Land as Jen and I hold hands and giggle and every freaking thing. So wonderful, here are snippets of each character:

Mama Ginger Tree: "she gathers her ginger boys and girls to give you a great big welcome to your adventure"
Mr. Mint: "the tall, tall, tall woodsman lives deep in the Peppermint Forest"
Jolly: "at the edge of Peppermint Forest lie the bouncy, jouncy, Gumdrop Mountains. Here you'll meet Jolly, the cute little creature who lives in Gumdrop Pass. Jolly is the softest, squishiest, bounciest character you'll meet in Candy Land. Let him bounce you through Gumdrop Pass or invite him for a bouncy good time."
Lord Licorice: "he may try to block your path with his icky, sticky licorice"
Gramma Nut: the name just says it all...
Lolly: she carries a lollipop sceptor. whore.
Gloppy: (Jen and I were seriously on the floor crying when we got to this one) "Just before you get to the Candy Castle, you'll pass through the Chocolate Swamp, where you just might meet Gloppy. Don't be afraid, Gloppy might look like a monster, but he's really a lovable glob of chocolatey goo."
King Kandy: "No adventure is complete without a trip to his Candy Castle. You'll find the castle below the Ice Cream Mountains where the Chocolate River flows."

I don't think my kids can ever play Candy Land because the game may just become dirty and kids shouldn't see that.