"I'm spinning round the room in awe" ryan adams

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Weekend back to DC (Delaware City) and DC (District of Columbia) - Volume 1

“She got out of town on the railway, new york bound…
Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I’m up against out in this world
And maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something that’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
You should turn yourself around and come on home
Let that city take you in (come on home)
Let that city spit you out (come on home)
Let that city take you down, yeah
For God sakes turn around” ~ matchbox 20

Ok, I would like to state for the record that until I stole that song from Jen today, I didn’t own any Matchbox 20, it was just in my head and I had to get it out. Especially because I needed this weekend. I think I say that a lot. Again, I find myself at a loss at where to begin. This time I’ll try not to write eight pages. I am also listening to Fiction Plane, not Rob Thomas.

I also couldn't get past Friday blogging since I am so damn tired, but the lyrics make sense for my recap, not for Friday's actions/thoughts.

Friday was chaos. Laura and I escaped the office mid afternoon and hit the road. We spent some time in traffic and admitted to each other our fears of our new lives and how our old lives used to be. Like me, Laura had two weeks to readjust her life and totally leave everything she once knew. Laura and I are alike in so many ways so we knew exactly where we were coming from. We had everything going for us where we used to be, both needed a change, and went NYC bound with no second thoughts till we were already here. Granted, we were the type of people that weren’t going to stay where we went to high school, but we never thought we’d go so far. The people that we left when we graduated high school were the ones who were going to stay and marry their high school sweethearts, have 2.5 kids, a minivan, and work somewhere boring and typical. Not us, there is too much life out there. We also have realized that we busted our asses for this wonderful opportunity and we work among the greatest and most talented people in the industry. Also, to make it in the business end of the music world, you pretty much have to be in L.A. or NYC and now the day we actually leave NYC will be the day that we leave the music business. Or so we thought until we drove home together tonight…

Oh, so while at work on Friday, I had IMed Tom to wish him a happy birthday and he asked what I was doing for the weekend. When I said that I’d actually be in DE for a few hours, he invited me to go out and celebrate his birthday with him and a few of our mutual friends. Let’s rewind the clock and catch you up. Tom is my last boyfriend, we went out for about four and a half years during high school and college. He’s three and a half years older than me, so it pretty much ended because we were in different points of our lives. Though it really wasn’t easy at the time, I wasn’t totally innocent and he wasn’t totally to blame, but due to doubts and anger issues, I ultimately called it off. I needed to focus on my career, then being broadcast journalism, and interests, riding and music, was constantly on the road, and phone cards sucked. It was a Sunday. And no offense to him, but I was moving onwards and upwards and he stayed the same - I realized that I was developing more than our relationship was. The last time we saw each other was last year at a PMB show, and the first time we talked to each other since then was last Sunday. Oh yeah, did I mention that he is now engaged to Erin, who was my best friend in college. Needless to say the above story could go on for a lot longer than a paragraph. So fast forward to now, and you have me being invited to hang out with the old William Penn High School posse in Tom’s hometown.

So later on Friday I meet up with Nate at Grottos in Newark and head to the Arsenal in Olde New Castle. On the way, I realized that I needed to change since I had dog hair on me and just came from working. Nothing says welcome to ghetto hickville Delaware (OK, so I went to middle school and high school while living in Delaware City, which is ghetto hickville, though I consider Newark my hometown because I lived on my own there and pretty much became who I am there) like changing in the car while Nate drives about 90 MPH on 273. I freaking remember racing down that road in high school. I also realized I couldn’t walk into the Arse sober, so I whip out the bottle of vodka I had in my bag and took a shot. While careening down 273, Nate totally cut off a minivan which proceeded to flash their lights at us. Nate was flipping them off and cursing them out at the red light and I look over and did a double take at the guy sitting at the light with us – it was Marty! Welcome to fucking Delaware, the smallest place in the world ever.

So we all get to the bar and then I start to panic, what the hell am I doing here, who thought that this was going to be a good idea!?! I walk in, and I don’t know if the music stopped for real or in my head, but it was if everyone in unison stopped and looked at us walk in. The Arsenal is the type of place that everyone in this small town goes and hangs out and pass the time at. Of course they know I don’t belong there. It felt so “Sweet Home Alabama”. So I said hello to people I haven’t seen in years and go right to the bar because I know the Captain will get me through this night. I say hello to Tom and this old guy asks me to dance. I did the catch up with everyone in a few minutes. I felt so out of place, I am asking people what they are up to, and its like time stopped. And it’s so hard to explain my life now to people not in the know. Especially because last time I was around this area was about five years ago, when I was Olympics and newspaper bound ;-). Needless to say, there really wasn’t much to talk about. Mike Clark came, and we immediately started conversation. Clark’s a musician and got out of DE as well. He used to date/is dating my first college roommate so he caught me all up on that. Saw Erin, craziness. We used to have so much fun together and it made me miss the old times in college. Seriously, I have awesome friends now, but Erin and I had a crazy time together and definitely was a Newark highlight for me. While Erin was making her rounds, Tom’s Uncle Paul came up to me and asked me to dance. And we all know I am one of the shyest girls ever. So why the hell not? I owe nothing to these people, especially not my dignity. I’m here for a night, I am going to make the most of it! So I kick off my flops (the bar is carpeted and actually really nice, a lot cleaner than the streets of NYC with my shoes ON) and here Paul and I are busting our groove things. Tom is DJing the bar, and I caught him laughing at us way too many times than he should have! Seriously the greatest thing ever to hit that dance floor that night.

Tom kept saying that even though this isn’t as exciting as NYC, they have a good time here. I had to admit, this was all way too slpw paced for me. But as I looked around, I realized that every one in that bar was happy. It didn’t matter to them what they were wearing, or what music was being played, or where they were, they were all enjoying the night. Then I felt like a snob. I felt so bad that this isn’t for me. I couldn’t imagine being in the same circle of friends and family for my whole life. Hell, Nate’s my longest running friend at eight years, and after that, I think Jen at four years. Wow. But I want something more than being around familiarity, I want discovery.

I escaped to the foyer of the bar and ran into more people from high school and also caught up with Tom on a few things as he reintroduced me to people who I forgot about. I talked to Erin for a bit and we decided that we wanted to hear some old school hip hop…so of course we got it. Erin and I were the only ones dancing and it was hilarious. We tried to entice the boys, and finally got Mart, Dan, and Nate to join us, though I think they were just mocking us! Nate and I busted out our best “break dancin’ Mike” impression. Tom ended the night with “American Pie” and tried to get me to sing and I actually grabbed the mic. Again, things get strange when I go back to visit… The night ended with us all arm and arm singing…have I mentioned that this was weird?

Oh, and it gets weirder. I ended up sleeping over Tom and Erin’s. Mike Clark was staying over there since he is in Harrisburg now and said he would drive me to my mom’s in the morning if I stayed. Off we went. I felt awful, Tom kept calling Erin “Miranda”. I don’t want to be that girl. While talking to Tom in the car (which by the way, I had a Jeep Wranger first, then Tom got a Wrangler…now I have a VW, and he has a VW. Stop it!) I am pretty sure I heard Mike say to Erin, “funny how you didn’t want him talking to her and now she’s in the car.” Again, I don’t want to be that girl.

So we get to Tom and Erin’s and we start talking and watching movies. Half Baked was Erin and my movie. One of my favorite memories of college was spending Friday and Saturday nights at Erin’s on Annabelle St. watching Half Baked and never seeing the ending because we’d pass out before it was over. I loved it. So of course that’s the movie that Tom puts in. Nate, Erin, and I on the couch, Mike and Tom on the chairs, and naturally Erin and I talk more than anyone. I think I actually contracted my gabbiness form her in college because in high school, I barely had anything to say to anyone. Haha.

She and I agree that Wawa is the best thing to happen at 4 am, so Tom and I went and did a Wawa run. Second time I went to a Wawa in twelve hours – I love it. Mac and cheese and lemonade iced tea, the old standby. We decided that 6 am is bed time and Mike gets the couch and I get the guest bedroom. Yeah, so should reiterate how weird it was that I spent the night in the house owned by my ex boyfriend and my ex best friend who are now engaged. Welcome to Delaware, Mir.